I Didn’t Want to Get Help But Now I’m Glad I Did
“Before I came to rehab, I was in the deepest darkest hole I had ever dug myself into. I ended up becoming something that I hated, something that I truly despised. I became a heroin addict. A heroin addict that chose to shoot up dope, rather than enjoying the smiles and words from my loved ones. An addict that chose the substance over his own blood. An addict that chose to lie, cheat and steal from his own family to support his addictions.
After a brief visit, I would leave my mother in a puddle of her own tears because she didn’t see her son—her baby—anymore. All she saw was an empty vessel that was heading towards death. Me being me, I would be sad on the inside and I only knew one way to cure this pain and that was to numb it.
The crazy thing was that I never wanted to come to rehab in the first place. I remember that my mother would beg me to go to rehab and all I would do was get mad. It took a lot for me to accept the fact that I needed to get help. It actually took a lot of things to get me to open my eyes, but more importantly to open my heart.
I ended up getting in trouble with the law and actually catching several drug felonies. I was heading down a path that would lead me right to prison. I was tired of the whole deal, I was tired of being dope sick and stealing to find my next fix after losing everything that I had. I was also tired of watching my actions hurt the ones that I loved. More importantly, I was tired of watching my mother cry.
The last thing that opened my eyes and heart to getting help was actually the last shot I ever had. I tried overdosing because I was drowning in my own depression and agony. The crazy thing was I woke up in the hotel that I had tried to overdose in and knew that it was time to find help. So, I ran to the only person on my mind—and that was my mother. I drove to my mother’s house, gave her my keys and told her that I was done, and eventually, I came to rehab.
When I first got here, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had never been in rehab before, so when I walked in, I was nervous. I was worried about my legal issues, and the family and loved ones that I had hurt. After completing withdrawal, I felt pretty good and was more confident that I would be able to complete this program.
When I started the sauna part of the program, I began to work out and eat healthy too. When I completed the sauna, I felt great—better than I had in many years. I was also working out for over a month straight, which had helped build my self-confidence up even more. The next phase I went through was in the course room, which was honestly my favorite part of this program. I realized a plethora of things that opened my eyes to my addictions and future sobriety.
“My mother got her son back, my family got their brother, cousin, and friend back. I give the Lord all the glory and praise, but I want to say this… I am blessed that he gave me the opportunity to come here because this place saved my life.”
I got so much out of the life skills courses and this program. More importantly, I got myself back. My mother got her son back, my family got their brother, cousin, and friend back. I give the Lord all the glory and praise, but I want to say this… I am blessed that he gave me the opportunity to come here because this place saved my life. I am forever grateful for that.
I honestly don’t want to use again, and I don’t want to hurt anyone, including myself, ever again. The last thing I will say is this, I worked hard to regain my strength, courage, and willingness to live from the time I first got here and I will never be dependent on anything in my life again.”
—Skylar, Narconon Colorado Graduate