Dear Heroin: Thank You for Helping Me Find My Purpose
Hello, my old friend. It seems like only yesterday when I felt you course through my veins for the first time. I can still remember the first time we met. I was so sick, I was hurting so bad, and then there you were…the so-called called “answer” to all my problems. The funny thing is that all my friends warned me about you. They told me I’d better stay away from you, that you were bad news, and I almost didn’t believe them when they told me you killed my ex.
I couldn’t see anything wrong with you. How could being with you be bad, when if felt so good to hold you close to me? Nothing ever made me feel the way you did, and I vowed to spend every single day with you. You made me feel like there was hope in life. You made me feel like no problem was insurmountable. You erased my negative feelings about myself, you dried my tears when I was sad, and you helped me become numb to the world around me. When we were together, nothing could ever hurt me. I know my family didn’t like you and I couldn’t understand why. I told them that they just didn’t get you the way I did. My mom would even cry and beg me not to see you. Crazy, right?
But then suddenly, it all changed. I could see your angry side…you became so mean. Being with you everyday started to make me sick to my stomach. I would shake when you weren’t around. I felt lost, sad, and I would get to the point where I would have done anything to be with you. I would have killed for you, lied for you, stolen for you. Done anything for us to stay together.
I remember when my best friend found you too. The two of you began the same torrid love affair you started with me. He loved you so much. He was on top of the world when he found you; just got married, and had a newborn. In a matter of months, he cheated on his family with you incessantly, leaving them alone as he snuck around with you every chance he got. He was defenseless against your allure, defenseless against your power, and defenseless against your empty lies. He loved you to the point where he died in your arms.
“I eventually looked in the mirror and saw the sores on my face, tracks on my arms, and bags under my eyes and realized that I was next. You promised me the world as you robbed me of my humanity.”
I eventually looked in the mirror and saw the sores on my face, tracks on my arms, and bags under my eyes and realized that I was next. I was your next victim. You promised me the world as you robbed me of my humanity. You stole my soul, destroyed my dignity, and obliterated my self-respect. I let you tear me from my family, and I let you control everything I did. I couldn’t even plan a vacation without making sure I had you ready to go first.
I could very easily say you ruined my life, but I refuse to give you that much power. I let myself ruin my own life. I allowed myself to be tricked by your fake beauty, false hope, and I wound up broke, alone, and shivering in a dark, smoke-filled room in the middle of the summer. Instead of being at the lake with my friends and family, I was sweating bullets, nauseous, and desperately looking for you at a street corner downtown.
My friends were right about you all along, and so was my family. I once thought you were amazing. I thought you were God’s gift to the world, but you wound up being the devil in disguise. I still can’t believe I defended and protected you at one point. If you had gotten your way, I would’ve been dead long ago. Luckily, I survived to warn everyone else that if they choose to dance with the devil, they’re going to pay the price.
Lastly, I wanted to thank you, heroin. Thank you for showing me my true strength to stand up in the face of adversity and save my own life. Thank you for allowing me to realize my own innate powers and abilities. Thank you for making me a fighter and thank you for giving me a purpose. Since breaking away from the death grip you had on me, I found my purpose in helping others break free from the prison you put them in. I found out how I can save the world since we met all those years ago, and the way I can save this world is to completely obliterate your existence and prevent you from ever hurting another family.
And I won’t stop until you’re gone.