Thank You for Giving My Children Their Mother Back
Narconon gave me my life back. I carried such a heavy load from my past and years of drug and alcohol use. It weighed me down in so many ways. I walked in the doors of Narconon Colorado with my head down, eyes on the floor, full of stress and a darkness that haunted me inside. I’m not going to lie; in the beginning, it wasn’t easy. Sleeping was hard. Speaking appropriately was hard. My mind was full of resentment, fear, and guilt. I quickly learned that I was operating almost completely in defense of my own troubles.
Those were the things I numbed for so long. Removing substances from the equation, my problems came back into clear view. I felt them for the first time ever, with real and loud emotion. I was ready to run. It was the counselors here who genuinely cared for my life that saved me that day. That level of care is something I have rarely experienced or accepted from other people. It stopped me dead in my tracks. They guided me along through withdrawal with gentleness and willingness to help comfort me through the hard comedown off of opiates. They were accepting and non-judgemental of the person I had become and listed to who I was and where I came from. I felt extremely safe knowing that I was in the right place, surrounded by the right support to guide me through.
The sauna detox was an experience all on its own. In this process, all the toxins I had put in my body throughout the years were forced out. I like to look at my body as a filtration system to my mind and soul. Clogged full of drugs, processed foods, and other things, it made it hard to function normally. Sauna gave me a clean body, but it gave me a cleaner mind. A prepping process of what was coming next.
My mind had become such a cluttered mess inside that it was hard for me to decipher right from wrong. I needed structure and that’s exactly what Objectives gave me. It happened quickly. Immediately my thought process came to life again and I was better able to obtain, think, and process all the bottled-up things from my life. I became extremely self-aware, learning about who I was and why I behaved the way I had in my past. It made it much easier to finally forgive myself.
The way the program is set up is remarkable to me. We are guided through the whole program, but the work comes completely from yourself! It makes the lesson real to you. It makes the knowledge stick and with that, I found confidence, knowing it was my own hard work. It made me believe in my own abilities, Objectives definitely obtain results that are effective and long-lasting.
During Objectives, I was paired up with another student. Not only was I able to relate to the person I was working with on a level I could understand, but we also became a powerful force together. We became each other’s battery pack. Throughout the course period, the staff were there not only to support me but to help me learn how to take control back of my life. In my life as an addict, the people that I had been surrounded by never offered me that kind of support of general care about the greater good of my health or life. I was disconnected from others for so long. Working with someone else who was going through something similar to what I was going through was amazing. I had a new understanding of what a real relationship is supposed to look like.
The next part of the program was a complete cleansing of the past. I was asked to look at all the mistakes I had made; where I had harmed myself and others. As I examined my life, I began to see the destructive behavioral patterns that I had developed in the years I was addicted. I looked at how I was hurting myself and the people around me, even my own children. The act of admitting it to myself, processing it with a clear mind, writing it down and allowing another trusted person to read it, it was one of the most healing things I’ve ever done.
“Instead of my cup being half empty or half full, it just felt completely full. Full of confidence, self-love, structure, morals, and integrity.”
After the Personal Values Course, I became as steady as a rock. Powered from within. Instead of my cup being half empty or half full, it just felt completely full. Full of confidence, self-love, structure, morals, and integrity.
I don’t ever want to step back into my old life. There were moments when I wanted to give up. There were moments when I could physically and mentally feel myself wanting to slip back into old thinking patterns.
The last part of the program was about getting things in my life straightened out again and making up for the damage I caused. At this point, I felt a need and a want to correct my wrongs, and each time I did that, it was a great reward. The direction of my life has become certain and instead of turning a blind eye to the things I’ve done, I felt driven to take care of everything head-on, with full responsibility. I have been selfish for my entire life and the fact that I am now interested in other people is remarkable.
Narconon gave me a success that I never thought I was going to have. I was given the gift of life again. I walked in here broken, lost, and lonely. Today, I feel brand new. Now I get to walk out into the world, and I get to experience life and all the good things life has to offer. Thank you forever Narconon and staff for giving my children their mother back and for bringing me back home to my family.
Kristina S. – Narconon Colorado Graduate