The Beginning of the End of a
20+ Year Drug Addiction

Mike T. Narconon Colorado Graduate
Narconon Colorado Graduate Mike.

The lifestyle of someone caught up in active addiction is usually a pretty rocky road, filled with some ups and lots of downs. When someone is actively using their life can get pretty out of control and things can get difficult to manage pretty fast. There are certain moments that present “make it or break it“ decisions, the ones that can alter the entire course of a person’s life, and as we can see in Mike’s story it sometimes takes these moments in order to begin the process of recovery. Here’s one man’s story of how he escaped the trap of a drug addiction that lasted for over twenty years and has begun to live a new sober lifestyle for three going on almost four years.


It all started in May of 2013 in my condo in Vegas.
Ok, it actually “started” sometime in 1990 in California. For our purposes here, I’ll start in 2013, in Las Vegas.
I woke up at some, nondescript time, lying on my couch. I found myself unable to move and very thirsty. As I stared up at the ceiling I became increasingly aware of my new found paralysis and began to panic. This gave me the answer to the ages old question—What must that guy in the Metallica One video (the war vet with no arms, legs, sight, hearing, etc.) feel like? Answer—Hell on earth.

Before I go on, let me back up a bit. You see, I had been on about a week long meth and heroin binge with some so-called friends. In the world of getting high, friends are hard to come by so you take what you can get. One guy, I’ll call him Bubba, let me stay at his parents’ house when we decided that some unknown forces were stalking my house and posed an immediate personal danger. I stayed there for four days, didn’t sleep, barely ate and did enough speed and tar to fill Marianas Trench. Afterward, I let Bubba drive us back to my place in my car. The last thing I remember was Bubba offering me part of his milkshake…

Blackness.

Passed out on the couch

I mention this because, after several hours of trying to move while lying there on my couch, it occurred to me that my phone was missing. As soon as I could walk I discovered that my wallet was also gone, along with my MacBook, my Galaxy Tablet and a host of other items including several expensive watches. Eventually, I found that everything I had owned that had some value was missing. I flew into a withdrawal fueled toxic psychosis rage and called the police. Then I called my Mom. In retrospect, I should have reversed the order of those calls.

The cops came and I explained the situation like a paranoid junkie. This led to me getting to try out a new, shiny pair of handcuffs. When I couldn’t answer the cops’ questions like a clear headed person they beat me in front of my mom. After hours of threats of taking me to The Clark County Detention Center, they let me go. Oh yeah, they got a hold of my heroin princess roommate and told her what happened and that I may have done this as an excuse to go into her room and steal her stuff. I had no argument because I was on drugs and couldn’t form logical sentences.

The next day I found out that a girl named Anna and her three psychos had come over to party while I was asleep. Anna had woken me up and attempted to seduce me. When that failed, she opted for giving me a high volume GHB cocktail. That explains the memory loss. That explains the paralysis. That explains the theft. Why did this keep happening to me?

This is what you get when you are forced to socialize with people that inhabit the drug world. Looking back at all the so called friends I had during my 20 plus years of getting high has taught me some very hard lessons. One of the most important of these is that everyone you associate with, all your “friends” you have while getting high will stab you in the back and help your family find the perfect grave to bury you in. They’ll do it with a smile too. Your death means more drugs for them AND they get to keep all the stuff they stole from you.

Addiction

Maybe I should mention that this sort of thing happens all the time. It’s weird how logic and reality twist when you’re on drugs. There’s a sort of retrograde amnesia/justification process that leaves the user with the feeling that they are lucky to have survived something like this again. At least they are still alive to smoke this bowl or do this shot. It’s an acceptable loss (everything you own) as long as you can still charbroil your consciousness with your drug of choice.

Back then, this scared me out of my mind and nearly killed me 100 times over. Back then I couldn’t explain it all in a way that made sense to my family or sober friends. Still, I tried and tried. It wasn’t until that day in my Vegas condo, after the police left, that I finally found the words to say to my Mom that would forever change my life and get me out of that hell hole.

“Mom, I need help or I’m going to die.”

That evening, at my Mom’s place, she and I found Narconon on the web. Narconon was different for many reasons. First, they had absolutely nothing to do with 12-step programs. Second, it was in Colorado which was a place I’d wanted to go to anyway (not Vegas). Third, the program made sense to both of us. They had a beautiful residential facility in Colorado with good amenities. The program seemed to focus on teaching me how to actually live in this world and how to communicate with everyone in it, including myself. My lack of being able to do these things had built the foundation on which my two decades plus of drug addiction would rest.

I was on a plane in two days.

I had tried rehab before. 12 step, Rational Recovery, etc. Both of those were 30 plus day inpatient services and they worked great, for about a week afterward. Both times it seems that I left feeling awesome and I was sure that I would stay sober forever and ever but, somehow my motivation petered out in about a week after I got home. I was like a high-speed train running on fuel made from good intentions—pretty sweet at the start but kind of empty when the power of positive thinking fades. It’s back to smoking, snorting, popping everything in sight. Back to lying, cheating, stealing and dodging friends, family and cops alike. Back to weighing 130 pounds and looking like a zombie from Dawn of the Dead.

The thing that makes Narconon different is you actually learn that in order to live in this world you have to be able to receive and deliver communication in a way that is beneficial. If you’re going to reach out and talk to another you need to know how to do so in a meaningful way that gets your ideas and intention across. Most importantly you need to listen so that other people know you hear them and that you understand what they are saying. Sound simplistic? Well, it is and it isn’t. Anyone can tell you that to drive a car all you need to do is turn the steering wheel and work the pedals. It is an entirely different thing altogether when you are actually barreling down the freeway at 90 miles per hour.

Man looking out at the city

So learning to communicate and learning to drive are kind of similar. If you don’t know how to do either one the result is the same—you crash. If you crash in a car, you can heal, take Driver’s Ed and learn how to drive correctly while your car insurance fixes or replaces your wreck. If you crash when you try to communicate, you lose face and integrity and feel horrible. Over time, you keep bottling this up inside yourself until you get either defensive or withdrawn. Then, you start lashing out. One of the most miserable creatures you’ll ever encounter is a one who can’t ever be heard and fails to communicate. It leads to failure after failure. Dropping out from school, lost jobs, shattered relationships are always the result when one can’t get their point across or understand that of another. It always seems that this pain can be readily dulled by self-medicating with drugs. Of course, that only leads one further down the hole.

I had always HATED talking in front of groups of people. Well, at Narconon I learned some very simple but very powerful techniques that made speaking in front of people as easy as talking to a close friend. I had always had problems getting others to understand what I was trying to say. I also never seemed to be able to live up to what I said I would do. Basically, my intention and my ability to confront weren’t there. Through the careful practice of proven techniques, Narconon helped me change that for good.

Another thing I learned at Narconon was the importance of completing cycles of action. I had spent my life starting things and losing my drive and motivation. Then I’d stop and go onto something else. This created a gargantuan pile of unfinished projects and failures. During my program, I got my intention in check and learned to use it. I also learned how to communicate that intention to others and to make it real. I didn’t just learn that I should finish what I start; I learned how to do it. Always.

Now, with nearly 30 years of putting toxic chemicals into my body, you’d think that my bloodstream would be a cesspool and that my body would be a fortress of chemical filth. Actually, you’d be right. Thankfully Narconon has a program that actually is able to detoxify and rid your body of all the toxins you accumulate from using drugs. It is called the New Life Detox. I’ve been in saunas before but I can tell you this- after several weeks of a therapeutic nutrition/ vitamin program while sweating in their sauna I really do feel better than I ever remember feeling. I started sleeping eight hours a night and getting up without an alarm clock. I now eat three meals a day which is a major win considering that I had been diagnosed with hypoglycemia and told that I needed six meals every day. When you’re on drugs you are sick all the time. Pretty soon you start believing that you should be sick. Once you thoroughly clean out your system and clear your head those symptoms go away. That and the fact that your body starts working the way it was supposed to go a long way towards making one healthy again.

Man on top of the mountain

The Narconon program really helped me to see how I’d been living for what it was. I learned how to confront my life and the mistakes I’d made and to make up for them. Best of all I learned to move on and really have a life I can run and control. A life where I have the tools and understanding to make things happen the way I want them to. I am finally at cause over my life and this world and not just a victim of the effects of catastrophe, humiliation, and regret. It’s funny how I used to imagine what it would be like to live a genuine, fulfilling life.

Since I sobered up I have a great job and an awesome place to live with amazing friends. The world is no longer scary to me and I actually enjoy each day and look forward to the next. Even better, now I know things happen for a reason. Most of the time, I know that reason is me.

So many times I thought, no, I actually believed that I had reached the end of my life. I’d lose everything and have to start again. It usually didn’t take long before I would lose it all again, each time going further down and closer to the real end of life. Now I can actually say thank you to my family and thank you to Narconon for helping me turn an end into a real beginning.

Mike T.—Narconon Colorado Graduate

AUTHOR

Julie

After overcoming her own addiction in 2012 Julie went on to become certified as an addiction counselor in order to help others achieve a life of recovery. She worked in the addiction field for 8 years and now uses both her personal and professional experiences with addiction as an influence for her writing.

NARCONON COLORADO

DRUG EDUCATION AND REHABILITATION