I didn’t have to use drugs to fit in

I didn’t really know how to deal with a lot of the loss that I was going through. My mom had passed from bone cancer and I had lost my best friend to a car accident. So, I kept trying to bury it in work and it wasn’t working.

I was offered some drugs and I started using that to hide my problems. When I started using the Oxycodone, which basically is almost a pharmaceutical grade heroin—it’s made by a pharmacy so you think, “Oh this is safe. I can, I can use this. This is made by doctors, prescribed to me.” And it really isn’t safe. It’s just a higher strength and it hasn’t been distributed through dealers’ hands, so your doctor is your dealer now.

So, I started using that to hide behind, you know, feeling stressed out, missing my mom, missing my friends.

I started showing up late to work. The addiction kept growing and it kept grasping onto me like, more and more and before I realized it I couldn’t stop using it. I started trying to wean myself down, and I just got sick, I got cold, I started feeling like my back was broken, like I was dying. And that’s when I started talking to my father and asking for help.

When we heard about Narconon, we heard that it was a lot more practical than just a group therapy, but actually life skills and the ability to build the character up so that they wouldn’t be deficient in those areas where I was weak in and I wouldn’t have to make those choices again.

When I got to Narconon, the staff were very helpful. They helped me get out of my shell that I had been living in. As soon as I was finished with the sauna [New Life Detox], I actually was able to think better. I was able to just have my own thoughts. I didn’t have like, a million things going through my mind. I’d actually be able to think things through and make my own decisions without feeling like an addictive personality was controlling me.

When I got to the Life Skills courses, they helped clear a lot of things up for me that I kind of touched on when I was growing up but hadn’t fully paid attention to—learning about choosing the right people to be around, recognizing the people that you’re not supposed to be around, to live by a code of honor.

And the greatest thing that I got out of the program was learning who I was and not having to hide behind anything. I didn’t have to use drugs to feel comfortable.

I didn’t have to use drugs to fit in. I’m my own person and I learned to be who I am and there’s not a greater gift in the world that you can get—to learn who you are and be comfortable with yourself.

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